Dear You,
We haven’t spoken in a while. But we started up a conversation the other day. I don’t feel the need or desire to hear from you anymore. When I do though, it does bring about a smile.
I think about us, and you, and how things once were alot still. Not enough to keep me down and sad anymore, but enough to keep you on my mind.
I miss you sometimes. Well, alot of the time. You were my best friend and I loved you. I get angry when I think about what you did and how you tore my heart away. It was yours, it had always been, and you used that to your advantage.
It’s hard for me to care about anything anymore, let alone even think about giving myself to another person again. That’s what I hate the most about what you did to me. I’m scared I’ll never be able to give to another, all the things I once gave to you. My heart wasn’t mine anymore. I gave it away to you long ago and you mangled it into an irreparable condition.
I wish I hadn’t, at times, given you such leverage over me. Then I think, and there was nothing I will ever regret about you. When things were good, they were perfect. We were happy and we loved each other completely. I think we just need some time apart to grow and learn what it is we want before we can fully know one another again.
I still love you, I’m just not in love with you anymore. Be happy.
I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where we once were so close that we could slip the curved straw, and the long, slender spoon, between our lips and fingers respectively. I will love you until the chances of us running into one another slip from slim to zero, and until your face is fogged by distant memory, and your memory faced by distant fog, and your fog memorized by a distant face, and your distance distanced by the memorized memory of a foggy fog. I will love you no matter where you go and who you see, no matter where you avoid and who you don’t see, and no matter who sees you avoiding where you go. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this, and no matter how I am discovered after what happens to me as I am discovering this.
“
| — | (via satan-pussy) |
A short list of things that I hate;
- In The Aeroplane Over The Sea
- I Don’t Mind
- Eighth Street
- Concrete Pond
- Explosions In The Sky
- Yellow cars
- My bed
- Time Travelers Wife
- My camera
- Boise
- November 15th, 2010
- June 9th, 2011
- October 14th, 2011
